Never Trust a Goat

I have a long standing joke about goats. I hate them (but I secretly love them). They are way too smart, way too stubborn, and the kids are way too cute. I never hated them until one bite me hard on my finger when I was a child. DREW BLOOD! Yes, I was poking it and yes I totally deserved it but either way, they are tricky, sneaky and totally adorable, and for those reasons, I hate them (secretly love). Make sense?

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At the ranch we will usually have a handful of goats roaming around (fences are only temporary obstacles in their minds). The only reason we ever have them is because while buying sheep at sale barns they either opened the trailer and let themselves in (which they can totally do) or Henry or Mike end up buying them for super cheap and we end up reselling them later.

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Recently Henry discovered online shopping in the form of buying amimals online from sale barns. Its seriously a thing, as an auction is happening you can bid on them LIVE! So, of course Henry bought a some sheep at a sale last week and when he had too much going on I drove to go pick them up. As I am leaving I ask how many sheep he bought he says "about 35 lambs and 2 goats" I said "WHAT? GOATS? nooooooo!!!"

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When I got to the sale barn there was 3 goats, 3! I think one snuck on but I didn't ask questions because I feared for my life. As the little devils loaded onto the trailer I caught their side eye stares and hoped they wouldn't bite me. They behaved themselves, at least when I was looking. My trip was pretty uneventful minus seeing a big rig flipped over but I figured I would share a few reasons as to why you should never trust a goat.

1. They're assholes.

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2. They are always getting in the way, and they're not even sorry about it

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3. They can do human things, like surf.

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4. They don't follow the rules or have any regard for fences

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5. They're so childish

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6. They're jerks to their friends

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7. They pretend to look really cute, ITS A LIE

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I will not love the baby goats, I will not love the baby goats, say it with me! I WILL NOT LOVE THE BABY GOATS.

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screw it, I love the baby goats. I can't help it. I love (secretly hate) them.


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